More money than sense

This is not the first but the second time that Charles has chosen to take his holidays in the outer hemisphere '“ spending a reported 12m for his first space excursion last year, when he took what has been described as, 'a working holiday', to the International Space Station.

Now, as my idea of a working holiday would be something along the lines of grape picking in the Loire Valley, with the promise of a vat of wine at the end of the week, I got to wondering, is it me or is this extravagant display of wealth:

a. way beyond my realms of comprehension.

b. in very poor taste, considering that a large proportion of the planet is either starving to death or living in poverty.

c. his way of rubbing our noses in it as we're plunged into financial dire straits as the recession takes hold.

d. because he has more money than sense.

Some (including Mr Simonyi) will undoubtedly say it is, of course, his money to do with as he pleases, but, eighteen million for a short break?

How do you make the decision to spend that amount of money in one go?

Was he maybe balancing his cheque books one day and, overcome by all those zeros (not quite the same zeros as mine to be sure) thought to himself, 'Mmm...now what to spend it on? Decisions, decisions... oh I know, I've got a few days holiday owing but I'm bored with earth, I've been everywhere and seen everything, what can I do that's a bit out of the norm...oh, what the heck I feel like splashing out on myself, I'll book a trip into outer space.'

Now, here's the thing, where do you go for your holidays from there on in? Because, money aside, surely that has to be the ultimate trip, how can you possibly return from an experience like that and continue with the hum drum of life on earth? Where else is ever going to top it?

Still, he was a former Microsoft employee who oversaw the development of both Word and Excel, so I guess he's got a bob or two to spare and can probably afford many, many flights without breaking the bank.

And, it appears that he's not the only one to take flight from planet earth, as apparently, search-engine 'Google's' co-founder, Sergy Brin, has just paid a cool five million dollars deposit for his future space holiday.

Apparently the thirty-five year old has joined forces with a commercial space flight company called Space Adventures, and by paying a $5m down payment he has reserved a spot in a future orbital flight which is estimated to cost each traveller an astronomical $35m.

Have they never heard of Disneyland? They do fantastic rides at a fraction of the cost. Rides that, from my experience, will take a mere mortal as near to the G force as most of us would ever wish to go.

Having partaken of the petrifying 'Space mountain' ride, I can honestly say there were times when it felt, as blisters appeared on my hands from gripping the safety bars for dear life, as if we really were hurtling through outer space.

Anyway, if Mr Richard Branson has his way those who can afford it will all enjoy space travel in the not too distant future.

How will that work exactly?

What will you do, walk into a travel agents and when asked, 'What's your preferred holiday destination?'

Reply, 'Oh I don't know... somewhere hot and quiet..what's Saturn like at this time of year?'

Only to be totally crestfallen when you're told, 'Fully booked I'm afraid. I can offer you somewhere a bit cooler...how about Mars?'

Now, I'm sure the view from your spaceship will undoubtedly be awesome, but can you imagine the rugby scrum at the check-in desk as everyone vies for a window seat, and let's face it, who would want to do a trip into space without one?

You're not going to want to be sat in the middle of the central aisle seating now are you and, for someone like me who has a very short attention span, after a few hours of circling the earth wouldn't you be just a tiny bit desperate to stop off somewhere for a refreshment break?

What happens if you don't like the person you've been seated next too? Even with a long-haul flight there's the opportunity to get up and walk around; so if you do find yourself sat next to an incontinent ferret, who can't sit still or shut up for five minutes, providing intimate details of either their medical history, or who their wife has run off with, or the fascinating revelation that their best mate could stay sober after drinking ten pints, you always know you can get off at the other end in a few short hours '“ but days and days of rolling round in outer space with nowhere to run... surely that's asking for trouble?

Of course, it's not going to be possible to stop off somewhere to stretch your legs, and surely if you can't 'get off and take in the scenery,' isn't it all just a bit like a booze cruise without the duty free?

And what about mealtimes? Airplane food is bad enough, but sucking your breakfast, lunch and dinner out of a plastic bag for a week or more?

It's not like you'll be able to say, 'Can I be bumped up into first class and have proper food and cutlery' is it?

And as for the toilets.....!

How will you get insurance for a trip like that? What can you catch and how exactly do they know what kind of inoculations are needed?

Are there any mosquitoes type bugs in outer space? They have bugs the size of a child's hand down here on planet earth and I've seen Planet of The Apes and Star Trek so I'd want some sort of assurance that I wouldn't be eaten alive.

And, if any bugs find their way into my luggage will they get burned up on re-entry?

Space may well be the final frontier for the chosen few, and it's a great way to clock up a few air-miles, but in the end down to earth with a bang will be the space travellor's ultimate destination.