Eat fish with a funny mouth? Not us!

He met with a stony silence.

It appeared that shoppers were influenced by a fish's appearance, as well as taste and value for money.

Brightwell cites one barrow boy who offered a big cod's head to a shrinking client.

'What, don't like its looks, lady,' he said. 'Ow would you look if you'd been chivvied up and an' down the Channel by U-boats these last four years.'

A fish therefore needed a pleasant expression if it were to be sold after being dragged from its natural element.

Few would touch garfish because the bones happen to be green.

And none would eat cat-fish roe because of its bright lilac colour, or the lamprey because it had a funny mouth.

Bemoaned Mr Brightwell: 'If only we would bring to the table some of that pioneering spirit which made us the world's greatest colonists, tons of good food might be ours, which at the moment has to shovelled overboard with the other "rubbish'' of every trawler.'

And he says that the French know a thing or two about local produce, pointing out that every year saw a bigger invasion of Dieppe winklers, to the growing indignation of Sussex locals.

As the alderman, guzzling his second helping of turtle soup, observed: 'Eat reptiles? Me? I'd rather starve!'