MR EDITOR, I’m trying to contact Mester Maude (him as is the MP?). Would you mind popping this in the Letters section - I ‘xpect all the Cabinet sees the County Times?
Eh-up Francis! Tha’s had a bad week and I for one don’t think they’ve been fair to thee. As soon as I read ‘kitchen suppers’ I said ‘Hello, here’s one as knows!’. He might be upwardly nubile but he hasn’t forgot – he knows dinner is what tha has after chapel on Sunday, supper is what thi father has when he comes in fra work.
And wheer else but in t’kitchen, eh? He’s like me -I bet he played round t’ drains when he were a kid, an’all. (I couldn’t even spell ‘executif’ at one time but that’s afore I were one). And now we have our own garridge! No petrol, but I always have a tin of paraffin set by for emergencies.
Any road up, I got to thinkin about these here suppers. It’s a grand idea, but why should yo chaps be lumbered with the entertainin every time? Now what I want to say is this. You – and your good lady – would be most welcome to have supper with us here at our place at any time.
The kitchen table is quite big enough for a cosy four. The missus does a lovely meat-and-tater pie. There’d be mashed taters as well and mushy peas – and I dare say the odd bottle of Lea and Perrins - plus full cruet of course.
Honestly, you’ll think you are at home! And one in the eye for smarty boots Osborne – him and his pasties! (He is not on our list. Not one of us. Not like thee and me).
Now, I must just mention just one small thing. Turning up wi’ flowers and wine and such is just, well what we used to call outré, tha knows. Just come as you are. We don’t stand on ceremony here.
And if this business of no gifts for the host makes you uncomfortable then just a small donation slipped onto the hall table as you leave would be quite acceptable. And just between us. As friends.
Richmond Road, Horsham