Help Sitemap Home Skip Navigation Contact Us Disability Statement

 
 
Friday, 9th May 2008

Premium Article !

Your account has been frozen. For your available options click the below button.

Options

Premium Article !

To read this article in full you must have registered and have a Premium Content Subscription with the n/a site.

Subscribe

Registered Article !

To read this article in full you must be registered with the site.

What would I do if I was Prime Minister?



Click on thumbnail to view image
Click on thumbnail to view image
Click on thumbnail to view image
Click on thumbnail to view image
Click on thumbnail to view image

One of our younger contributors, Chris Whiteford, writes about what he would do as Prime Minister.

Readers are invited to add their comments below or send in their own thoughts via email.

WELL that's a good question, you certainly hear it enough be it in a primary schoo
l essay or in a political argument between friends.

Recently, however, I've been giving it some thought, and I asked myself "What would I do if I was Prime Minister?."

First off, 4x4s. Don't worry I don't intend to restart the seemingly endless argument by environmentalists that 4x4s will be the death of us all, because it simply isn't true.

What we should do is not to tax and tax and tax the owners until they can't afford to run them anymore, instead just get them to actually drive them where they were designed to be driven. Off road.

Besides if they are so worried about CO2 emissions why not have a look at the other types of car, and I have noticed that estates aren't receiving nearly the same amount of attention from environmentalists as 4x4s are despite the fact they emit nearly the same amount of CO2.

Another thing I've noticed we ought to change is all this nonsense about political correctness.

Now honestly when was the last time you heard someone getting offended by singing 'Ba ba black sheep'?

Fair enough there are some things that you just don't say to someone and racism especially is a big problem, but we as a nation have become a bit too worried by that, we have given ridiculous solutions to problems that never should have existed.

Now to get rid of this I propose we simply start from scratch, firstly yes racism is not on and we won't tolerate it, but what we won't do is to overdo it, it makes them feel singled out and it brings an interesting analogy to mind of the UK being the mother who comes into school with their child and says 'I want you to be nice to him/her'.

So don't bother with too many anti-racism laws and just treat them like you would anyone else then they won't feel alienated because you'll find most of them came to the UK in the first place either because they heard it was nice here or they reckon they can make something of themselves career-wise.

Now when it comes to the question a lot of people are asking 'what will we do when the oil runs out?', well the answer is simple isn't it?

Wind turbines out at sea and solar panels on the top of houses nationwide should do the trick. 'Visual pollution' simply doesn't enter the equation, that term is just a fancy way of saying 'I don't think it looks very nice, please remove it so that I don't have to suffer the indignity of having my area look that little bit uglier'.

Besides, if you have mini power-stations onto your house, you can rely less and less on the national grid which in turn means you will get electricity for free. Now that makes the 'visual pollution' worth it doesn't it?

This next idea may sound crazy but I've always wanted this to happen, for just one day close off the M25 and have the UK's biggest track day.

Think about it though, instead of having people speeding around country roads in order to get a cheap thrill every so often you will have them all in a controlled area where they can enjoy themselves for a small price and with no consequence whatsoever on the 'M25-Ring'.

Or a project on a lesser scale, why not have localised rally stages using the country roads mentioned earlier?

You can pay the local councils to organise routes and get the money back from the entrance fees for competitors in their low-power rally cars. This will be a great experience and a nice family day out to walk through the countryside and stop every so often to see how the drivers are doing.

Ah another idea has come to me, I've noticed that smokers are complaining about being forced outside to have a smoke despite this unwittingly adding a social bonus where people go outside and chat with the express intention of smoking.

Now to solve this why not remove the need to smoke in the first place? This would mean there's no need to flit in and out of your particular social group with the line 'Just going out for a cigarette' repeatedly, and in case you don't have a problem with that I'm sure they will thank for for the lovely smell of stale carbon monoxide with you to your friends who may think that smoking isn't all it's cracked up to be.

If they get annoyed with the horrendous effects of going cold turkey then say to them 'What do you think the NHS is for then?' and book them an appointment to get therapy so that they no longer feel the need for a cigarette.

Finally, if I was Prime Minister I'd divert some funds from nuclear weapon projects and send it into schools, because I remember reading that the UK spends around £2.3bn on nuclear weapons projects over the past 50 years, now something tells me that some of that could be well spent on resources for education.

Now if you're looking for an example, how does a laptop for every student in the country sound? If not that then brand new sports equipment so that we won't have to rely on special vouchers from TESCO or any other supermarket chain (with actual monetary value of less than a 100th of a penny) to send off and get some equipment that way.

In case you wonder, why are we giving up on our nuclear defences then answer this, do we really need them?

Mutually Assured Destruction has already been well established between the major superpowers in the world so the odd nuclear missile not being used won't exactly go amiss will it?

Now, of course, I'll be reasonable and make sure they are well maintained not only in the case of an attack but so that no-one suffers from radiation-induced illnesses.

If any of you have suggestions I will be very willing to hear them or if you want to have a good old debate about anything I've said here then send your comments either on the West Sussex County Times website or email me at jimmyjojojimbobjunior01@hotmail.com.



The full article contains 1108 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • Last Updated: 20 February 2008 10:00 AM
  • Source: n/a
  • Location: Horsham
 
 

Comment on this Story

 

In order to post comments you must Register or Sign In

 
 
 
  

 
 


Sister Newspapers:
Press Complaints Commission

This website and its associated newspaper adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Practice. If you have a complaint about editorial content which relates to inaccuracy or intrusion, then contact the Editor by clicking here.

If you remain dissatisfied with the response provided then you can contact the PCC by clicking here.